Growing Up Loved
by Marie S Zachary
Summary: Charlie and Toby are just starting to become friends but what will happen when tragedy strikes the Duncan family for a second time. Warning: OC character death mentioned. Possible character death
1. You Don't Love Me Anymore

Disclaimer: I don't own GOOD LUCK CHARLIE.

* * *

"Charlie," Amy said, "Do me a favor and pick up your toys."

"I don't want to," Charlie said.

"Well I know you don't want to but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do," Amy said.

"NO," Charlie yelled, "You're not fair!"

Amy sighed.

Charlie had been acting like this the past week.

"Why are you so mad lately," Amy asked.

"CAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE ME NO MORE," Charlie said, "YOU DON'T!"

"What?

Charlie how can you say that. Of course I love you. You're my little girl."

"You never let me hold Toby," Charlie said, "and you let everyone else.

You put me there (she pointed to the time out chair) every time I'm not nice to Toby and then you don't cuddle me after like you used to. Of course you don't love me anymore."

Amy felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She picked Charlie up.

"That doesn't mean I don't love you," she said, "Mommy just had Toby a couple of weeks ago.

I'm really tired so maybe I don't have the patience that I used to have but I still love you very much."

"Then why can't I hold Toby," Charlie pouted.

"Well it's not that you can't," Amy said, "You never asked."

"I WANNA," Charlie said.

Amy almost said, "is that the way we ask for what we want," but she stopped herself.

"Here," she said, "Sit down."

She scooped Charlie up on the rocking chair.

Very carefully she gave Toby to her and showed her how to hold him.

"Now Charlie," she said, "You can only hold him when a bigger person is around.

That's either mommy or daddy or PJ or Teddy or Gabe."

"Why," Charlie asked.

"It's because you're too little to hold him by yourself," Amy said, "His head is very soft.

If he falls he could get hurt really bad."

"Oh," Charlie said.


	2. We Have Options You Know

Eightteen months later Amy sat outside on the porch. She was crying and looking at photographs.

"Honey," Bob said, "Come on."  
Amy looked up as Bob come out.

"I was just looking at her picture," Amy said.

"You have to stop doing that," Bob said, "Every time you get pregnant you do this... and you're not pregnant now"

"She was our first Bob," Amy said, "and we lost her."

"She was born with Down Syndrome," Bob said, "and she had a problem with her heart. Morrow was lucky to die so soon. She would have lived in pain for her whole life instead of just 3 years."

"How can you be so pragmatic about it," Amy asked.

Bob sighed.

"Because if I let myself be anything else I would hurt just as bad as you do," Bob said, "and we have 5 other children that need our love and our attention."

"Five and a half," Amy said.

"What? What do you mean five and a h- oh no"

"We didn't plan on this," Amy said, "But it's a blessing never the less."

"Haven't you ever heard of birth control," Bob asked.

Even as he said it Bob knew it was a stupid thing to say.

"Okay you know what," Amy said, "That was just wrong what you said."

"Sorry," he said, "Look we have... options you know"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"What a thing to say," she said.

"I just don't think we can afford another child," Bob said, "and right now it's not exactly a baby. We can get rid of it."

Tears started to fill in Amy's eyes.

"You said the same thing about Toby and Charlie," she said, "Would you really want them not to be..."

"I'm sorry," Bob said sinking into himself, "I just feel so out of control in situations like this. I hate not being in control."

"WHY! WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO YOU TO BE IN CONTROL," Amy asked.

"I honestly don't know," Bob admitted.

He pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry," he added.


	3. What if It Were Morrow All Over Again

Bob thought for a long time about the question Amy asked him.

The truth was that he **did **know why he hated being out of control. Twenty-three years ago Amy gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl in the world. They named her Morrow. Morrow was born with down syndrome. Bob didn't have a problem with that. Amy didn't either. To them she was perfect. But when Morrow was the age Toby was right now she developed some disturbing physical problems. She couldn't breathe. They rushed her to the hospital where she was diagnosed with severe heart failure. Her heart was only working at 10 percent. She fought really hard but the disease won 7 weeks after Morrow's 3rd birthday. She passed away. Amy nearly fell apart with grief but Bob was in shock. He didn't handle it until much later.

When he thought about it he realized he HASN'T actually dealt with the grief of losing his firstborn. He was relieved PJ was a boy. This had to be a sign. PJ wouldn't be sick like Morrow was. He was a boy. It was just enough of a difference to cause Bob to be relieved. Then, when Teddy was born he held his breath until she turned 18 months and reasoned that there was no way Teddy would get sick like her sister. She was 18 months old. If she were going to get sick she would have been sick already. Bob knew he was being extremely illogical but he also knew he had to protect himself. He bounded with Gabe right away. When Charlie came along Amy was already in her 35. She was 38 when Toby was born. Now she would be 40. A 40 year old mother means less of a chance for baby. How could he accept this baby into his heart? What if it were Morrow all over again?


End file.
